random declarations

Declaration # 4284

Jesse Henderson — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:31:08 +0000

By the powers vested in me by the state of Hawaii, I declare, know your deodorizer like you know your Mother’s face.

Declaration # 4283

Jesse Henderson — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 05:59:02 +0000

By the powers vested in me by the state of Vermont, I declare, foot odor is a downright abomination to all that is sweet, dignified, and holy in this world.

Declaration # 4282

Jesse Henderson — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:04:22 +0000

By the powers vested in me by the state of Florida, I declare, health problems shall only be discussed bewteen patients and their physicians.

Declaration # 4281

Jesse Henderson — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:24:08 +0000

By the powers vested in me by the state of Pennsylvania, I declare, the colon is an awful thing to overuse.

Declaration # 4280

Jesse Henderson — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:40:45 +0000

By the powers vested to me, by the state of Ohio, I here by declare, buffering sucks.

Declaration # 4279

Jesse Henderson — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:01:17 +0000

By the powers vested to me, by the state of Nevada, I here by declare, that it’s all good girlfriend.

Declaration # 4278

Jesse Henderson — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:38:33 +0000

By the powers vested to me, by the state of Delaware, I here by declare, compulsory coughing, of the type which leads humans to gag and throw up, illegal, and it will henceforth be punishable by a fine which shall not exceed $50.oo.

Declaration # 4277

Jesse Henderson — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 07:04:21 +0000

By the powers vested to me, by the state of Mississippi, I here by declare, that birthdays only entertain the dullest members of the species.

Declaration # 4276

Jesse Henderson — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:58:22 +0000

By the powers vested to me, by the state of Maryland, I here by declare, that I will no longer be taking showers.